The Realm of Football: Part One

"They are we thought they were!"....Or maybe not? 

The first two weeks are in the books, and The Realm of Football still stands similar to how it did before the season started...for the most part. Certainly there were some scares, as Mike Gundy had Jameis Winston looking at Oklahoma State like they were a group of Publix security guards. Yet some things are going according to plan, as Marcus Mariota looks like the one true king that can unify The Realm, despite the arrival of the potential usurper known as "Kenny Trill." However, there has been one major turning point in the evolving story, told last weekend across varying states in the north. House Delany was pillaged, sacked, and burned to the ground, as Michigan State, Ohio State, and Michigan were all publicly beheaded in their primetime matchups. Fear not though, members of House Delany. Given recent showings, House Bowlsby is looking equally weak, especially after the Mormons had their way with the house's first-born child, refusing to even offer her a nice meal before completely ruining her. Indeed, The Realm of Football can be a savage place. Let's review some of the happenings from the first two weeks, and look ahead at what may happen in the months to come.  

1. Be hesitant with the "anointing oils", as they will often light your ass on fire and make you look like an idiot.  

So often in the early weeks, overreactions are made without taking a step back and remembering where we are in the course of a football season. Crowns are placed on the heads of some, and others call for houses to be burned to the ground in Evan Williams fueled rage. One week it's: "Oh my God, this offense is the greater than listening to angry Will Muschamp." The next: "The only thing worse than that defense is taking heroin. Actually, taking heroin would probably be better than having to watch that defense again." 

Two prime examples of this phenomena are the Charlie Strong Players Not Yet Kicked Off The Team and the Arizona Wildcats. Both fan bases were jacked up on Mountain Dew after the first weekend of football, as the Texas defense held North Texas to 94 yards of total offense, and The Fighting Rich Rods put up nine billion yards of offense against UNLV with a new quarterback and no Ka'Deem Carey. Fast forward to Week 2, and the Wildcats are fighting for their lives to escape San Antonio (yes, there is D-1 football in San Antonio) with a win, followed by the Burnt Orange Sea parting for Mormon Tebow to galavant into the end zone repeatedly. 

Mormon Tebow > Dylan Haynes 

The simple fact is that it is still way too early in the season to make calls on how most of these teams will look at season's end, and that there is still a ton of football to play. Plenty of time is left for teams to develop and grow into a better version than what they currently are, and plenty of time remains for the wheels to come off the bus. Lets wait a few more weeks before deciding whether to break out the twenty-one year scotch, or down grain alcohol without a mixer.

2. Regarding Marcus Mariota...forget what was said above. All Hail King Mariota. 

Through two weeks: 31-48 for 585 yds, 6 TDs; 15 rushes for 85 yards and 1 TD. 

Get yo hands off The King

670 yards of total offense, 7 TDs, no INTs....And a double-digit win over a Top 10 team. Ladies and gentlemen, the best player in the country is officially your Heisman frontrunner. 

3. Kenny Trill is just another cog in the Kevin Sumlin Offense WonderMachine

"You see, Kenny, I push this button, and voila, 500 yards of offense."

Don't get me wrong, I think Kenny Hill is a fantastic player. As good as he is though, that performance against South Carolina validated my belief that there isn't a better coach than Sumlin when it comes to developing quarterbacks. Just think about the players Sumlin has molded in recent years: Sam Bradford, Case Keenum, Johnny Manziel, and now Kenny Hill. Lots of insane numbers, and two of those big shiny trophies called "Heismans" comprise the notches on Sumlin's belt. Of course it's still early in the season, and the South Carolina defensive performance was the prequel to Texas' 3rd Quarter play, but you can't ignore the way Hill put up the numbers he did. He was throwing the ball all over the field with confidence, and marching down the field on damn near every drive. 

Hill will struggle at some point, as nearly all freshmen do. Yet based on Sumlin's past development of quarterbacks, the state of Texas will be his to rule over so long as he remains in College Station. If you're a high school quarterback or wide receiver in Texas with dreams of playing on Sunday, how could you not choose to play for the best offensive coach in the best conference in The Realm of Football?

4. Speaking of the best conference in the realm...   

The race for the SEC West will be the best in the country, and it won't even be close. Outside of maybe Arkansas, every team in this division is capable of beating anyone on any given night. While this division has generally been ruled by LSU and Alabama (with the occasional War Eagle sighting), the parity this year is incredible. 

Alabama is stacked with talent like always, but the quarterback debate still hasn't been settled, which could certainly lead to problems when the Tide begin conference play. 

Auburn and Texas A&M can score with anyone, but will either team be confident in getting a stop when it matters? 

LSU has a pair of incredible running backs, but the team looked shaky against Wisconsin. 

Ole Miss has a stout defense and great WRs, but Bo Wallace is the ultimate case of Jekyl & Hyde.

Mississipi State can't be slept on, as they hung tough in just about every big game last year, and now have Dak Prescott solidified and playing well at QB. 

Throw in the possibility of the Woo Pig RBs going off to cause an upset here or there, and you have a division race that could be filled with carnage every week. Leave your predictions about this division at the door, sit back, and enjoy the show.

5. B1G has already lost its head. House Bowlsby looks to be next on the chopping block.

The only reason the Big XII still has its head above water is because Oklahoma and Baylor have kept it afloat. There was hope for the conference after Week 1, given the inspiring performances of middle-tier Oklahoma State and West Virginia against national powerhouses. Then Week 2 happened, and House Bowlsby soiled itself. Beyond the drubbing in Austin, Kansas State needed a massive comeback late in the game to beat Iowa State, who had lost to North Dakota State the week before. (Memo to all Big XII teams: Do not play NDSU. Fool us once, shame on you. Fool us twice, shame on us, and we look like idiots.) 

Despite two W's, Tech has fallen flat on its....You get the picture. 

Last but not least, Texas Tech has proven itself to be the most undisciplined team in football. In defeating mega dominant powerhouses UTEP (they probably should have lost to the Miners) and Central Arkansas by a combined whopping 11 points, the Red Raiders racked up 25 penalties for 204 yards. Having fun and wearing "Beyonce is Bae" shirts is great and all, but this isn't a squad that can win against the better teams on its schedule while being that undisciplined. They certainly can't let it happen this week, considering their defense (108th nationally in run defense) is going up against arguably the best stable of running backs in the country. Don't be surprised if Woo Pig runs wild this weekend in Lubbock. 

6. Puddles the Duck is the greatest mascot to have ever graced the realm. 

If Marcus Mariota is the king, then Puddles is surely The Hand who pulls the strings in this realm. Should you have any doubts about it, this video will put you in your place. Unlike Kim Jong-Un, may Puddles actually live 1,000 years. (For further reading on this national treasure, read Spencer Hall's fantastic piece from earlier this week.)

That's all for this week in The Realm of Football. Be sure to follow the blog, and if you appreciate what we're producing here, share it with your friends!